Meet Aaron Stark - Almost a School Shooter (Ep. 32)

Oct 16

Episode Notes

Ever wonder what goes on in the mind of a school shooter? Or, why someone chooses to kill innocent people? My guest, Aaron Stark, was ready to commit mass murder but decided, at the last minute, not to follow through with his plan. He also chose not to kill himself. In this episode, you’ll hear Aaron’s harrowing story of abuse, neglect, and trauma, and you’ll find out what it took to prevent yet another tragedy that would have contributed to America’s epidemic of gun violence. There’s no doubt that mental health services are a vital part of the solution, but in Aaron’s case, it was a friend who extended kindness and compassion - someone who saw Aaron as “a good person with a crap life” - that made the difference.

So many questions to ponder. Here’s one for educators: In these hyper-polarized times when it’s so easy (and perversely rewarding) to bully others on social media, what will it take to get people to treat others, especially those who are struggling, with kindness rather than cruelty? Tune in to hear Aaron’s harrowing story and what he thinks will make a difference.

Here’s a clue: Convince people “to give love to the ones that you think deserve it the least because they need it the most.”

Featured Guest:

Aaron Stark was almost a school shooter. As a dark and destructive teen, Stark almost committed a terrible attack. Today he is a happy father of four, and wants to do all he can to help anyone on that path to find a way into the light again, and to see that they matter.

After watching the news coverage of the Parkland school shootings, Stark wrote an open letter “I was almost a school shooter.” This was sent to local news 9KUSA in Denver and was the feature story on Next with Kyle Clark. This story gained national attention and over 17 million views in a very short time, which propelled me into a life of activism for mental wellness awareness. He has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, and also wrote his own article in the Washington Post. This was followed by his viral TEDx talk “I Was Almost a School Shooter, “which currently has over 14 million views and is shown in schools, colleges, and universities all the way up to the Dept. Of Education.

These days, Aaron gets in front of as many audiences as possible, trying to spread his message of Giving Love to The Ones You Feel Deserve It The Least Because They Need It The Most. He speaks to students, administrators, SROs, law enforcement, podcasts, one-on-one interviews, and any other group that is looking for a way to reach that person in the dark and remind them they matter in hopes of preventing future tragedies.

Recently, he started presenting to the FBI and other law enforcement agencies in hopes of improving methods and techniques when dealing with those on the edge of darkness. Now, he flies across the country, speaking to help prevent the next potential him from happening.

A few words from clinical psychologist, Haley Watson, about this episode:

Give love to the ones you think need it least because they need it most.
If you are struggling, remember: Depression will lie to you; self-hatred will lie to you.
There isn’t any difference in the pain that we all feel as humans. At the bottom is a belief that “I’m not good enough”. Therefore, what we need is the same, regardless of what our darkest moment looks like.
If you work in a school, focus on celebrating humanity in children. Help students explore and share what they like as a pathway to connection and hope.
Instead of seeing struggling students as having ‘mental health’ challenges (which we assume we can't do anything about unless we are mental health 'specialists'), see individual people who need simple human compassion, kindness, and love.

I'm left with the profound sense that if we all follow Aaron's advice, we really could change the world!